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Just like today.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Knowledge is Power by Wendy Clark ©2006

For this discussion, kids, please take notes. Yes, in your notebook. Preferably in your English notebook. No, not your journal. No Billy, not your hey! I am speaking! Okay. Listen up, guys. Guys! Okay. Okay! Take out your journal and write the - - what? Please, dont speak when I am speaking! I do not have a .7 lead, sorry. No, you cant go to the restroom right now the pencil sharpener is next to my computer. No, Susie, not true. I dont know why we have an assembly. All right. So take your journals out and open them. Shhhsorry guys, I mean your NOTEBOOKS yes, I mean no, I am going to explain that in just a sec Kelly! Where are you going? Okay. Let me take attendance. Oh, go see if they have a band-aid in the front office well um are you kidding? Sorry. The front office is located at the front of the school yes.those doors that go to the outside of the school.okay, but only one of you may go, no. No more chocolate. No, but we will watch a movie if we get through the chapter, perhaps next week. Page 427. Open your books, yall. Today is the 17th. Its not? Sorry. Today is the 1st? That is funny, Joe; hey why dont you go talk to the Dean on that cell phone, buddy. Now. Um Um, I think we will just have to have a quiz on the notes we havent taken. Yes. In fact, that is almost ironic, Steve! Wow! Nice application of figurative language! So where was I? Okay. Why do you think that this chapter is so important? Did you just say in deep s- - t? If I cant swear, then neither can you. So on page 427 of your textbook yes, I have extras in the side cabinet, next to the pencil sharpener, right where you put them during detention yesterday. No, the other side. Warmer warmer. Please raise your hand if you have a question. What? Page 427. I will write it on the board GUYS! Quit throwing crap! Now, Rachel, please turn on the overhead projector, and the heading of your notes should be Chapter 5, Language and Thought. Page 247. Sorry, sorry, what page? Hang on, my book is gone. Okay, who can describe what this chapter is trying to tell us? Page 427, Nick. Language what is it okay, you didnt read the chapter did you all? I think that sports is important but so is reading. well, hate is an insulting way to describe a class, especially when I can hear you Thanks. Okay. Does anyone know what the title suggests about the association between language and thought? Did you read? Yes, I did mention it yesterday and it was on the board, right where I always write your homework, eh? Nicely done. Thank you for changing the page number up there. That is just classic humor. If you are the criminal, pat yourself on the back for that one. Great. Super-duper. The stapler? Please dont shoot staples at her! PUT MY STAPLER BACK!
We will wait.
OKAY!!! Barry! Thank you for your input! Excellent: please listen to what Barry has to those staples are expensive; yes, someone could lose an eye. well okay, then
Now please listen to what Barry has to say about this chapter, which is a major component of life and human nature, and no Barry, you cant go to the bathroom I am starting to get angry why is my overhead missing? Of course. Yes, it was just there. FINE! GO TO THE BATHROOM! WASH YOUR HANDS, BARRY! The pencil sharpener is over there. Okay. Does anyone have any clue what this chapter is about? Beth? Sammy? Um, okay then. Look at the title. What kinds of clues do you get? Just share a book then. I think they cost $60 dollars Please, for the love of all pull up your pants, Tim! TIM! Talk to me after school!
We have rules here because we love you. Alright Settle down! Argh! Please listen to this announcement Okay baseball players get the notes from someone because you may use your notes on the quiz tomorrow. Tomorrow is Saturday. Sorry, I mean Monday. I forgot to collect your journals no, if its in your locker you may bring it to me tomorrow Sorry, Monday. Remember how you should have a table of contents in your English notebook? Yes, we have been doing that since the beginning of the semester. You have to learn some more responsibility! No, I am not in a bad mood wait. Yes I am beginning to get angry. Put your IPod away! No cell phones! I will give you the rest of class time to read no Matt! No way! Do you actually think you deserve to watch a movie? No, I havent seen that one. Oh! Does that have Mathew whats-his-name? No, I dont think hes cute
Why did Kevin leave? Im not sure if he is actually on the baseball team. Did they say varsity or JV? Whats so funny? What is that thing? Hey! Is Tina okay? Tina? Why are you crying? No, I didnt know that gosh, I am so sorry that your dog died last night, sweetie
HILARIOUS! Tina, that was not cool. Mind your manners. What? Oh, I forgot. On your feet, guys! Time for prayer.
Lets just have a few moments of silence in our hearts and minds. Jim, please wake Lisa up Dont hit people on the head with your book, Jim! What is the matter with you, today? Is it a full moon? Okay. SILENCE! Thank you. Jill. Jill, please read from the top of page 427. JILL! Anthony? READ! Thank you, Steve. Well, the gh in the word thought is silent. No, you dont have to write that down. Well, sure, write it down if you cant remember that stop throwing Skittles! All right. Let me see Yes, I will. Here is my book. I can go from memory. So write down the title of the chapter in your notebook, yes, my loose-leaf paper is on the shelf where it has always been. No, I dont have .5 lead either. What are you eating? That will make you sick. Of course, I am sure. No I have not but I am pretty sure that I know the difference between toxic and hmmmm. Shannon? Sure, I would love for you to read Whose phone is ringing? Sit down! Well, tell your dad NOT to call you during school hours! Jill? Jill! Get your book from your locker if it is that unpleasant to share! I am out of hall passes just hurry up
Page 427 NO! I wont write the page number on the board. Never mind. Do you all just want to copy the chapter for homework? Thats what I thought. Proceed, Shannon. Thanks.
Simmer down! Single file out the door for fire drills! No, you will have to use the bathroom afterwards please dont use that as a weapon, Kirk


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